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This weekend’s edition is proudly presented by the newly hard-forked Shibarium, the cutting-edge layer-2 scalability solution of the Shiba Ecosystem! 🚀💫

Hey there, fellow Shibizens and crypto-curious minds! 🌟

Welcome back to your Weekly Meme Digest, where the excitement rivals the market’s ups and downs, and our jokes flow faster than Ethereum on a bullish streak! 🚀

Did you catch our inaugural blast-off last weekend? We hope it left you rolling on the floor laughing and scratching your head at the same time! 😂🤯

Get ready to LOL, WTF, and maybe even OMG with our latest collection of crypto comedy gold! 🎉💰

Speaking of launches, ours was a rocket ride of fun, and we’re strapped in to keep the laughs coming and the memes buzzing, giving you the juiciest highlights of the week that zipped past us. 🚀📆

Are you geared up for another spin on the rollercoaster 🎢 of crypto craziness?

Get ready for more laughs, more insights, and more eyebrow-raising moments because we’re about to slap a high-five to the highs, throw some playful shade at the lows, and maybe, just maybe, decode a bit of the mystery behind this digital coin toss we call the crypto market. 🖐️💬 🖐️

Let’s dive into this week’s Crypto High Five!

We’re about to inject some humor into those blockchain blues and blast off into a galaxy of laughs and insights! 🌌😄

#5 US SEC Crypto Carnival Hits Overdrive!

Gushiken Yona

Oh, the times are a-changin’ in the wild west of cryptocurrencies, but it seems the sheriffs at the SEC just can’t let Robinhood ride off into the sunset without a little drama. 🎭

Yep, folks, gather ’round, because Robinhood has just been handed a shiny new Wells Notice—like a party invitation nobody really wants 🎉.

Welcome to the club, Robinhood! You’re now officially on the growing list of the SEC’s crypto soiree alongside stars like Coinbase, Kraken, Uniswap, and MetaMask. Let’s roll out the red carpet, shall we? 🚀

Now, with all those Wells Notices flying around like confetti at a New Year’s party, one former SEC chief chimed in, quipping that the “crypto onslaught will continue” as long as the Democrats are steering the regulatory ship. Is he right? Or is he right? 🤔

It’s almost as if the SEC is playing a game of Whack-a-Mole with crypto businesses, swinging away with gusto, yet somehow, the big mole at FTX slipped right under their mallet.

Oh, the irony! 🙈 And speaking of fun at the fair, remember when the SEC declared Ethereum was not a security?

Ah, those were simpler times. Now, whispers in the wind suggest they might be flip-flopping faster than a fish out of water, possibly reclassifying ETH as a security.

Vitalik, buddy, you might want to phone a friend on this one 📞.

Not to be outdone, Rostin Behnam, the chairman of the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), has thrown his hat into the ring with a prediction that’s less fortune cookie and more crystal ball: a “cycle of enforcement actions” is on the horizon, folks, expected to sweep through Crypto Town in the next six to 24 months.

And why, you ask?

Well, according to Behnam, it’s the wild wild west out there—no rules, no sheriff, and a lot of outlaws running amok. More fraud and manipulation cases? Say it ain’t so! 😱

As we tip-toe around the tumbleweeds of regulatory uncertainty, let’s keep our humor about us, dear readers.

After all, in the ever-twisting plot of crypto regulation, today’s meme might just be tomorrow’s headline.

Keeping a sense of humor and a stash of memes ready can make even the most daunting of regulatory visits a bit more bearable. Cheers to navigating the crypto currents with a smile and a wink! 🥂😉

#4 Bitcoin: Is It a Satoshi Dream or a Saylor Scheme? 🌟💼

Gushiken Yona

Hold onto your digital wallets, folks, because MicroStrategy is on a Bitcoin buying binge that makes Black Friday look like a leisurely stroll through the park! 🛒🚀

Under the valiant leadership of Michael Saylor, the fearless Bitcoin evangelist, MicroStrategy has amassed a king’s ransom in Bitcoin—214,400 BTC, to be exact. That’s more than the BTC troves of the United States, China, and the UK.

Talk about having more Bitcoin than a crypto pirate on the high seas!

Last week, Saylor was spewing some serious shade at Ethereum and the altcoin ensemble, calling them the B-list celebrities of the crypto world. 🌟🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, he’s been stacking Bitcoins like a kid hoards candy on Halloween. 🎃👻

With their latest shopping spree of 25,250 BTC in just the first four months of 2024, it’s clear that for MicroStrategy, it’s always “treat” and never “trick” when it comes to Bitcoin.

Ah, the plot thickens with Saylor’s crypto crusade! “Bitcoin, There is No Second Best” might as well be the battle cry echoing through the halls of MicroStrategy. 🤔🎭

But when it comes to his take on Ethereum and other altcoins, one has to wonder: is it a strategic diversion or genuine crypto critique?

Could Saylor be playing the ultimate game of chess, dissing ETH and the altcoin army to herd the crypto crowd towards Bitcoin? 🤷‍♂️💰

Or perhaps, he’s just a true Bitcoin purist, championing his favorite digital gold while casting shade on the rest.

Whatever the case, Saylor’s moves keep the crypto waters intriguingly murky and the community on its toes! So, is he a cunning strategist or just a passionate promoter?

In the crypto world, sometimes the lines between strategy and sentiment blur faster than a Bitcoin transaction on a good day! 🚀🧐

Somewhere out there, Satoshi might be scratching his head, 😩wondering if his invention was meant to be a corporate collectible or a decentralized dream. 🤔💭 Is this really what he envisioned? 👨🏼‍💻

A single company clutching over 1% of all BTC in circulation, turning the Satoshi dream into the Saylor scheme?

And just for fun, let’s throw this out there: Since Bitcoin is dubbed the digital gold, is there any company out there holding more than 1% of the world’s gold?

Imagine the chaos if someone tried to pull a Saylor with gold bars! 🙊

As we chuckle through this crypto saga, remember, it’s all in good fun. We’re just spectators at the grandest financial revolution of our time, watching a corporate giant play a high-stakes game of keep-away with nations.

So keep your memes sharp and your spirits high—this crypto rollercoaster has more twists and turns than Saylor’s Bitcoin strategy! 🎢😉

#3 Unveiling the Elite Squad: The Top 5 Crypto Degen Nations!

In the past ten years, cryptocurrency has gone from being a mysterious asset to a craze-worthy investment everywhere. ₿ 🤑

But here are the top 10 crypto degens by country, according to CoinGecko! 🌎💸

1. United States – Welcome to the United States of Crypto. Bitcoin has become the latest obsession of the masses. Forget about Kim Kardashian; Google users in the U.S. are now searching for Bitcoin like it’s the hottest celebrity gossip. 📰 Americans just can’t get enough of this digital gold. 💰

2. United Kingdom – The U.K. is no stranger to the world of crypto assets, with approximately 10% of British adults getting in on the action. Crypto regulators are always on the move, but we admire City Minister Bim Afolami for encouraging informed risk taking. 🐱‍👤 Now that’s what we call a real daredevil! 😈

3. Philippines – Crypto fever has once again gripped the Philippines, starting with the rise of the NFT-rich video game Axie Infinity during the COVID-19 lockdowns. 🎮 😷 After a brief crypto winter, the trend is back with a vengeance. In a place where not everybody owns a bank account, crypto is the next best thing!

4. France – If you’ve heard people say France is the European Crypto Hub, you’ve been consuming too much crypto media. 😜 France is not just about baguettes and berets but a buzzing hive of networking and innovation with its blockchain events. 🥖 🥐

5. Indonesia – With 19 million crypto investors and a solid regulatory framework, Indonesia is carving out its place in the global crypto market. Word on the street is Java and Bali are the crypto hotspots – are tourists vacationing there or trading crypto? 🥥 🏖️

If your country didn’t make it to the degens’ list, don’t worry. 🤔 Satoshi started with only 31,000 lines of code and now we have Bitcoin, Nexo once thought of Shiba Inu as a joke and now it is listed on the platform … the list goes on. There are often major plot twists in this space. Keep your eyes on the horizon! 👀💲

#2 FTX Fraud Victims Catch a Wave: To Recover Lost Funds – with Added Interest!

Bankruptcy lawyers representing victims of the dramatic cryptocurrency exchange crash at FTX 17 months ago have announced that the vast majority of victims will indeed receive their money back — and then some! 🚀

The saga began when FTX co-founder and former CEO Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF) was found guilty on seven counts related to fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering.

A staggering $8 billion of customers’ funds had gone missing, leaving investors in despair. SBF was slapped with a 25-year prison sentence and ordered to pay a jaw-dropping $11 billion in forfeiture.

His appeal, filed last month, could drag on for years. But fear not, fellow crypto enthusiasts! The FTX estate, under the new leadership of U.S. attorney John J. Ray III, has been hard at work.

Ray, who once declared he didn’t “trust a single piece of paper in this organization,” embarked on a mission to track down the missing billions.

And guess what? 98% of FTX investors will receive 118% of the value of their FTX-stored assets in cold, hard cash! The other creditors won’t be left empty-handed either; they’ll get a solid 100% return, plus “billions in compensation for the time value of their investments.” 💰

What’s more! The FTX estate plans to distribute between $14.5 billion and $16.3 billion in cash, including assets from various entities.

It’s like a crypto treasure hunt: real estate, political donations, and even a $500 million investment in an AI company before the generative AI boom. Talk about a moonshot! 🌙

While the bankruptcy court still needs to approve the reorganization plan, the intention is clear: resolve disputes without costly litigation.

Unfortunately, the creditors won’t ride the Bitcoin bull; FTX’s shortfall in Bitcoin and Ethereum won’t translate into crypto riches.

But hey, at least they won’t need to decipher any more blockchain whitepapers!

So, crypto warriors, keep your wallets ready. The FTX phoenix is rising, and it’s bringing interest with it! 🌟

#1 Dorsey Gazes into His Crystal Ball – And Sees Bitcoin Hitting a Million Dollars by 2030!

Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey has donned his crystal ball and made a bold prediction: Bitcoin will be worth at least a million dollars by 2030.

As the crypto world collectively raised an eyebrow, Dorsey confidently declared, “I don’t know. Over… at least a million.

I do think it hits that number and goes beyond.” 🚀 In a recent interview, Dorsey spilled the digital beans.

But it’s not just about the Benjamins (or Satoshis, in this case). Dorsey waxed poetic about the collaborative magic of the Bitcoin ecosystem.

According to him, anyone who contributes to making Bitcoin better—whether by working on it, getting paid for it, or just buying it—becomes part of a movement.

And guess what? That collective effort makes the price soar. 🌟

Moreover, Dorsey recently bid adieu to the board of BlueSky, a decentralized Twitter alternative he helped launch in 2019.

Apparently, BlueSky was “literally repeating all the mistakes [Twitter] made.” Ouch!

Dorsey envisioned BlueSky as an open-source protocol, but it morphed into just another app with a penchant for moderation tools.

Not his cup of crypto tea. ☕

Now, as the head of financial services firm Block, Dorsey is putting his money where his tweets are. Block will flip 10% of its gross profit from Bitcoin-related products back into buying more BTC every month. 🤑

Did you hear some Saylor for the crypto seas holler out something like this before?🚢

So, dear readers, buckle up!

By 2030, we might all be sipping champagne (or perhaps Bitcoin-flavored coffee) as the million-dollar milestone approaches.

And who knows? Maybe we’ll even have a crypto-themed Broadway musical. 🎭🌙