Gushiken Yona
So, Microsoft, the tech giant who brought us the joys of the Blue Screen of Death and Clippy the paperclip, has decided Bitcoin isn’t quite its cup of tea. Apparently, shareholders had the audacity to suggest dipping their toes into the crypto pool, prompting Microsoft to issue a swift and decisive “Nah, fam.” Their reasoning? Bitcoin’s too volatile. You know, unlike the stock market. 😂
Its annual shareholder meeting on December 9 has a menu of hot topics, but one proposal stands out: should Microsoft invest in Bitcoin? Spoiler: the board thinks absolutely not. In fact, they’ve advised shareholders to snuff out this revolutionary, decentralized dream by voting against it. Because, you know, corporate treasuries “require stable and predictable investments.” (Somewhere, Bitcoin just rolled its eyes 👀).
Microsoft Says ‘We’ve Considered Bitcoin’—Translation: It’s Already Been Dismissed 🚫
In their filing with the SEC 📑, Microsoft essentially reminded everyone that, yes, Bitcoin crossed their minds—once. It noted it has “carefully considered this topic” (probably during a 15-minute PowerPoint meeting 🕒📊) and decided Bitcoin and all its crypto cousins don’t quite fit their “strong and appropriate” treasury management strategy. Why? Because volatility is the ultimate buzzkill 🥴. Stable and predictable, like a 401k, not like a wild party where Bitcoin and Ethereum take turns spiking the punch 🍹🎉.
This proposal didn’t just come out of thin air 🌬️The National Center for Public Policy Research, bless their hearts, is out here advocating for companies to allocate 1% of their assets to Bitcoin—a hedge against inflation, they say. And they’re serious—Bitcoin has performed way better than cash under mattresses or most traditional investments 💰. But that’s not exactly Microsoft’s cup of tea, given their play-it-safe approach to treasury management 💼.
Microsoft’s response? “We already use the blockchain for… digital driver’s licenses!” Which is like saying you understand the internet because you use email. 🤦♀️
Irony Alert: Microsoft Actually Uses Bitcoin (Kind of) 🕶️
Here’s the kicker: Microsoft already leverages Bitcoin tech through its decentralized identifier network, ION. It’s like a Bitcoin-powered side hustle where users can own and control their own digital identity. Decentralized IDs, digital credentials, diplomas—it’s a slick system 🎓🔗. But they’ve drawn the line here: while happy to dabble in blockchain tech, full-on Bitcoin investment just seems a little too rebellious. (Or maybe they just don’t want to ruffle any Wall Street feathers 🪶💸).
So, here’s the question: why invest in the tech but dismiss the asset? When will corporate America stop seeing Bitcoin as a high school dropout and recognize it as the brainiac prodigy who just doesn’t wear a suit? 🤔🧠Is it a reluctance to jump into the kind of wild market where Bitcoin’s value can go from “yacht” to “used Honda Civic” within a day? 🚗📉
Bottom Line: Microsoft is saying no, but with the classic corporate spin of “We’re just being responsible.”
Disclaimer: This article may or may not be written by a Bitcoin evangelist sitting on a $10,000 price prediction 🚀. All opinions are definitely tongue-in-cheek 😜. Not investment advice—don’t spend your rent money on crypto, kids. 🎢
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Yona has no crypto positions and does not hold any crypto assets. This article is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial advice. The Shib Daily is an official media and publication of the Shiba Inu cryptocurrency project. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own research and consult with a qualified financial adviser before making any investment decisions.
